BEAR WITH 'EM
Volume 2 Issue 4 $1.00 October 26, 1999
Week 7....'da Bears are Dead But Not In Heaven!
| 'da Pre Game It's week 7 and the weather was not to bad. The problem was, the Scoiety was a bit weak in making it to the back 40 in a timely manner. It seems 'da Keeper of the Fire dropped 'da wood, but was not there for his duties. As usual, 'da Sexatery took on a new title, non paying of course, and started the barrels a flowing with good old heat. I guess that makes her 'da Keeper of the Fire in training. Anyway, Bard set the welcome signs up, Miss B took care of 'da Fire and decorating the van, and 'da Cook was weak, just sat around getting the fuzz out with 'da Bud. 'da Treas made it and brought a bit of wood to contribute to 'da stack. 'da Coach brought out the boards from 'da Stadium and we were ready to rock. Just needed 'da crowd. Alas it's 11:00 and 'da Scoiety showed up. 'da Security brought 'da living room and still promices a big screen TV. 'da Something Bout Mary made it and was wondering how she too can win 'da Badge of Homor, Chef of 'da Week. Frosty, JP, #87 - thought he was in disguise, Mr. & Mrs. 'da Coach, 'da Chaplain - once he stop playing with his handicap program, Linda and Carl, 'da Stockman and 'da Mayor and K Lady all made it for 'da party. Oh yea, 'da TiT made it just in the nick of time!!! The food was quite tasty once again. #87 brought Apple and Peach Cobbler, 'da Cook brought some Corn / Banana Muffins, 'da Sexatary was out to get 'da Badge of Honor with Cajun Shrimp that almost blinded her, then Linda showed up with her Beef roll-ups. Linda was in 'da kitchen grillin 'da beef. 'da boards were full, Tit just arrived and it was time to vote for Chef of 'da Week. 'da Sexatary nominated Linda for her beef roll ups. It was second and she took it unanimously. Tit said it was time and we shut down the back 40, put more wood in the fire and proceeded to 'da Stadium. | 'da Game Once inside, 'da Chaplain took control of 'da Boards. He had extra duty this week, cause there were 2 big boards and 1 little one. 'da Tooter was in the Sky Box, 'da Security was keeping track from 'da Living Room and 'da First row was fully taken by Scoiety. 'da Sexretary decided to go to 'da Matey's Chip and loose a little. 'da Bears were quite despondent. No offense, no defense, no nothing. But the good news is 'da Tileman and 'da daughter made and 'da Lisa and 'da Jim made it. Seemed like most of 'da Scoiety were doing other thing than watching 'da game. Probably cause there wasn't much of a game. Oh well, half time came and we were losing again. We gained new members and proceeded to the back 40. 'da Half With the food in place, 'da Kitchen going, wood on 'da fire and Beers in our hands, 'da Sexretary started 'da raffle. The 24 tips were sold and the winning number was drawn. It was....no one was claiming...the 5 minute warning was given and Carl decided to claim 'da prize. Not sure, but I think he got 'da cup. 'da food pretty much ran out and someone said "'da game started" so we watched it from 'da living room. No score change, 'da Bears still losing. So we partied some more until 'da Security said it's time we go. He closed 'da living room and the back 40 until next week. We headed into 'da stadium, just hoping that something good was going to happen. 'da Bears were driving but just couldn't guite get the TD. I must say that 'da Dick didn't do a good job in not going for the TD. |
| Once again we are looking for a kicker, bring Butt-Head back!!! Could have tied the game, but no our kicker can't make a 40 yarder. I think they got him from a pee wee league. The embarrassemnt was over and 'da Bears lost. Carl won 'da big board, Mrs. 'da Coach won 'da other big board, and 'da Cook won 'da Little Board. de ja vu. Food stamps - Jeff "Beginners Luck" Germain. 'da Crette fans, 'da Linda and 'da Carl had a big day. They took home 'da raffle, 'da big board, and Chef of 'da Week. 'da Carl bought rounds for all and we then stop remembering, go figure, you knew it was going to happen sooner or later!!! 'da Scuttlebutt Rumors have it that the non-executive, non-paid, do-all-the-work female members of 'da Scoiety may be forming a Tailgate Auxiliary. They were spotted having a special session on the non-executive committee at the local McDonalds. Efforts to contact this group were met with difficulty. The only information we could gather was that donations are being accepted to help fund this coo. Donations may be mailed to the committee's southern headquarters: Tailgate Auxiliary c/o Hoosier Estates Mobile Home Park 275 E. - 450 W. Mailbox 3 Knox, IN 46552 'da Note-Worthy Absences: 'da Commish: How many weeks in a row now? Come on! We need our fearless leader! 'da Fire-Starter: Going to loose his job if 'da Sexaretary has to keep tending 'da flames Cuz Chuck: A good thing or a bad thing? Mr. & Mrs. Pittsburgh:All "locked-up" in Missouri 'da Halloween Tailgate Costumes are being encouraged for this weeks Tailgate Party. A costume contest will be held with a "Buck-A-Vote" determining the winning costume. The best costume will receive an official Bears Football. It could be you! Come on out in your best costume, and remember....Support 'da Scoiety, vote early....vote often! Next Week: Our 6 & 1 v/s 'da spread Chicago Bears will visit the Washington Redskins with a noon kick off. Be in the back 40 at 10 AM and get ready to see if 'da Bears Trick or Treat us. |
'da Recipes for 'da last two weeks
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The Official Snooze Letter of the 1999 Chicago Bears Tailgate Scoiety
BEAR WITH 'EM
Volume 2 Issue 3 $1.00 October 11, 1999
Week 5..."da Bears Were Very Much Alive"
| 'da Pre Game The sun was out, but 'da Tailgaters seem to be a bit weak as they straggled into 'da back 40. 'da tables were set and 'da food kept on arriving. This week we had 4 tables just full of food, raffle items, bake sale goodies, and of course, 'da high tech cash register and our mascot, 'da poopin' duck. 'da Treas was presented with a tie that he proudly wore. 'da editor in cheif was presented with a dictionary, that he promised never to use, and found that it contained the definition of scoiety, which is a group of drunks. And yes it was misspelled in 'da dictionary. Tit, after finally getting there received a new watch, that $45.00 expenditure we noticed in 'da Treas's report. 'da Kitchen in training was getting hot, 'da tailgaters were munching and drinking 'da beers. 'da Coach had the big board going and 'da cook and Johnny B had 'da raffle going. 'da tickets were sold out and after a bit, 'da Security claimed 'da prize. He took a Bears tee shirt that he proudly wore. 'da big board got filled and 'da cook went to 'da stadium to retrieve 'da small board. By 11:45 we were about 40 strong and 'da small board was filled. 'da Chaplin decided to hold confessional 15 minutes prior to kick off in 'da Stadium, personally I think he was wanting to try his new cup holder in 'da confessional. From what I can remember, Mrs. Johnny B brought a Bacon Shrimp Wrap, 'da Cook had 'da Meatballs, 'da Sexretary brought Italian Beef, Jeff brought 'da Brats et al, Mrs. 'da Parrott Head arrived just in time with a dip, not you Gump, Shit Head brought Brownies and I'm sure there were more. Nomination of Chef of 'da week were 'da Brats, 'da Shrimp and 'da Spam by 'da Treas. A vote was taken and 'da Brats won by a landslide. Congratulations Jeff, 'da big dude on being Chef of 'da Week. Iti said it was time, and we headed for 'da Stadium. | 'da Game And what a game it was!!! 'Da Bears look great creating turn overs and scoring. 'da Poms were waving and 'da tooter tooting. Until...'da tooter became a MIA. 'da Security needed funding, so a Lite was put up for funding. And how good he is, the investigation only took 10 seconds. Way to go 'da Security. 'da Beers kept flowing and 'da Editor noticed 'da Treas buying a Viking Dude deers and shots out of Scoiety funds. It was brought to the attention of 'da Security and he said....funding is needed. So he got another lite and assured 'da Editor the funds were not of the Scoiety's, but a fine maybe in order. The Executive Committee will discuss it at their Thanksgiving meeting at the Southern Retreat. Well 'da Bears kept things alive as the first half ended and we proceeded to 'da back 40. Some new friends came back to the back 40 and Tit was on their butts getting their dollar. Johnny B and 'da Cook gathered funds for 'da half time raffle. Think there were 28 participants in this one. Now lets see....who won...think I need a little help here 'cause I don't remember. Let's say Mrs. 'da Coach did, cause she does a good job of winning. Once again we didn't make it to 'da Stadium for kick off. 'da Second half didn't look so sweet. Probation Chuckie was on hand with a close eye on him at all times by 'da Security. It seemed like every time 'da tooter was out of commission, 'da Bears didn't fair well. Well 'da tooter disappeared and then returned, Only to find it was full of shit....hence not working. Jason 'da new guy said he would take care of it. Off he went to 'da Mash Unit and performed an abortion on 'da tooter. Now 'da tooter is of Catholic faith and this has caused great mental anguish. 'da tooter is in therapy which is costing a great deal of coin. 'da Tooter may have to seek ;da advice of 'da Attourney General for a wrongful abortion. |
| Anyway, 'da tooter started blowing again and 'da Bears started playing again. With a strong rally in the fourth, 'da Bears took home a huge victory, but also they are now 5 & 0 against 'da spread. Way to go, Chicago! 'da photographer won 'da big board and bought drinks for all card holders, 'da Cook won 'da small board and 'da Chaplain collected 'da money until it was safe to give it to him and Mrs. 'da Coach won $25.00 in food stamps that can only be redeemed at Matey's. Way to go!!! Retraction 'da Editor being of unsound mind and body strives to get all the facts, or made up facts correct. It has been brought to 'da editors attention that last weeks edition had an incorrect entry made....and I don't mean 'da spelling. 'da Big Board was won by 'da Water Gal Bobby and not by Mrs. 'da Parrott Head. Next Week: Our tied for first place in the NFL Central Chicago Bears V/S the Eagles in the Cellar if the NFL East. Kick off is at noon. Tailgating starts at 10:00 am, Be there, 'cause Cade needs your support!
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Mrs. 'da Pittsburgh Abridge Scoiety Dictionary
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`da Coaches Ass Is Kicked And We Are 4 & 0 Against The Spread...Yeee Ha!!! | ||||||
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The gathering in the back 40 for the weekly meeting of the scoiety was quite slow. I think many of our new friends and some of our old, thought we would not be strong enough to party when the weather was threatening. Sorry, you don't know a blonde pollock like we do. da Sexatary seem to bring a cover to keep us somewhat dry. After unloading everything, we said, "OK how does it go up?" and "We need four poles" `da Sexatary said no problem she knew how to get it up and `da Coach went to the St. Joe Club for four pollocks. `da Keeper of `da Fire thought it might be a good day for the fire. It took a bit but we got `da fire going, and we were all appreciative of `da heat. It seemed kind of chaotic during the pre game. `da Commish couldn't be found and TiT was late claiming something about she needed a new watch. I don't know. But 21 of us braved it that Sunday morning for great food, and there was a whole hell of a lot, good humor, good beer and our new mascot, `da pooping duck. `da Treas seemed like he couldn't keep his hands off `da new mascot, at least I thought it was the mascot. `da Photographer brought `da pics and we enjoyed them. `da Photographer in Training brought hers and they be good also. We got `da board together about 11 and sold it out. Items for `da raffel were being donated by many. We had a scarf and hat that `da Parrot head made himself and a Bear shirt provided by Larry Nipsco. It was time for `da drawing. Mrs. `da Coach won the first raffel and decided |
to take `da scarf, she thought it was a bit cold. `da Photographer took his pics and we all started to chow down. What a spread. It's a bit foggy but, `da Cook made the Swamp Potatoes, `da Sexitary brought the sausage raps, now it gets foggy ... let's see ... there was salami, two kinds of dip, bread stix with cheese, apple rolls, cookies, veggies, beer and shit I hate it when this happens ... loss of memory. Any it was all very good. It was time to vote for Chef of `da Week. And the winner was Johnny B for his bread stix, aka Artie Fartie Dicks. Good job Johnny B. `da Chaplin was a bit under the weather, but we had to be blessed. `da Chaplin in Training blessed us with his wit and humor. It should be noted that `da Parrot head also made `da Bear bank that resides in `da Stadium. Thanks little brother. TiT announce it was time for kick off so we closed `da party down and preceded to `da stadium.
`da Game As usual, `da Security of `da Scoiety had the sky box seats. Accompanied with him were something bout Mary, `da stockman and cousin Chuck. `da Security of `da Scoiety though it would be best if he kept a close eye on Cousin Chuck being he is on probation while in `da Stadium. `Da cheer leaders had `da poms and we all had something to cheer about. Tooter went for `da Horn, but it was gone. `da Security dude called for funding for the investigation. Tooter got him a Lite and he said we're | |||||
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funded. The tooter was found up by the bar. Case close deemed `da Security dude. We met new friends and drank a lot while we watched and prayed that `da Bears would kick `da Coaches ass. Half time came so we all left for the back 40 but realized it had started raining. `da free standing cover was no longer standing, so `da sexitary, Bard and `da Cook got it together for `da gang. `da living room opened and we all gathered under the big umbrella drinking and holding the second raffel. The winner of `da second raffel was `da Keeper of `da Fire who took home four Bears Glasses. `da second half started and no one left. Guess we were having way to much fun. `da Security dude promised us a big screen TV next week. It got to a point that we all had to get to `da Stadium. So we packed the big umbrella up and loaded the cars and proceeded to `da Stadium.
The second half seem to fly by. da' cook was lookin to win `da board, but `da Bears decided to win `da game. Pretty exciting in the end. Mrs. `da Coach won the little board and Mrs. `da Parrot head won `da big board. All in all we can't complain about the day. `da Bears won the game and won `da spread.
 Bears fight song Bear down, Chicago Bears by Jerry Downs Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory; Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly. We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation. Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown. You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down! |
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Next Week....Bears VS. Vikes Kick off is at noon
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| The Official Snooze Letter of the 1999 Chicago Bears Tailgate Scoiety | ||||||||
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BEAR WITH `EM |
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| Volume 2 Issue ??? (1, I Think) September 28,1999 | ||||||||
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| Week 1, Weak 2 & Weak 3....Though we are 3 & 0 in the spread...Yeee Ha!!! | ||||||||
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da Pre - Tailgate party... Involved with just a few things. Mike the biker had a real hard time parking da bike. Shit happens...seems like he pissed a Harley Dude or Dudette off ...who knows...that's what da Mike had to. Da Chaplin was offering communion...but the only one that showed up was a dude called Mr. Beck. I don `t know...but da Society never got blessed!!! Lastly...da Secutiey of da Scoiety was way over fashionably late...maybe something bout Mary??? da Party... How do we say...Thank You da Treas for making it on time. And we appreciate da holder of da funds...da Play School Cash Register. And I am sorry da TiT, I have a funny feeling that you have to start a new 900 line. Nurse Nancy is gone...though she was seen in Purdue's Stadium on Saturday in da student section at da game...just to let you know, da Treas, she had written on her belly...I wanna go home...to da Doomer. Counseling is available little brother. At this time I like to say...welcome back #87. Though we missed you..I thought Filet's would be more fitting for Chef of da Week. It's ok..i know how you went to da Township Treasurer to get da cheese and how you hussled da Boulvared to get food stamps for da meat and da bread et al. Love ya ... good job.. Hello Me Jude...we love ya and missed ya. We did have some food! Hoggies by #87's franchise of Subway, Mrs. da Coach's Sausage Buns...cheese by da Cook, Sausage and crackers by Mrs. da Keeper of da Fire...(AKA Srong Woman), and there was more, but I forgot...Think Of That!!! We did gain a new Chef of da Week, though he lacks da button. da Coach was very serious in ensuring that #87 would become da Chief of a week.. I personally think that cane in his hand and the strength in face...sorry...I'm not messing with da coach..check da pic out...would you really mess with da Coach ??? |
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| Sorry....he seems like
too bad of a dude to mess with!!
O.K. Where were we??? Oh ya..It seems like it was getting time to go to da stadium...TiT's didn't know da time...hell da Photographer didn't know it...but da Chaplin knew it...I think??? So we went to da stadium, only after da board was sold. Thank you da Chaplin et al for the last square. da Game
Half time came and we met a lot of new friends and had to go to da back forty..so we did Unforunatly......... |
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| All votes
are overseen by the CPA of da Scoiety..
Chief of Security of da Society..JB Enjoy da rest, and a few pics.... |
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| WE HAVE A BIT OF BLANKNESS...
(Sorry bout redundane of da spot) K I'm ready. Not sure, but something must have happened in da white space. Oh yea..I think Mrs. Pittsburgh and da Chaplain both had a brew spilled on them by the Exile Of Matey's. Mrs. Pittsburgh said refund...I said .. da Scoiety doesn't refund!!! da Society in it's membership won da board. and da Coach proudly bought $150.00 in drinks while winning $125.00. We love ya da Coach!!! da Game was over..I took a parlay..da Coach lost $25.00 and we all enjoyed da day. But please remember my slogan...WE WANT BUTT HEAD BACK!!!! OTHER SHIT Due to the absence of Nurse Nancy, #87 bestowed upon da Treas a simile face, or a leaste we think so. Yes, now he has da pooping duck, AKA Shitty, duck. Have fun little brother. Hope da pooper doesn't go south!!! Fund Raisers Wanted If you have a fund raiser, please let us know. We can be reached at: Wanna Give You A Fund Raiser C/O We Need A Kicker Solders Field, Chicago IL 60606 Here is a fund raiser..... Vote for your choich, each vote cost $1.00...da Comish...and we love him... he buys beers for da Society next week... Cast your vote by email to: mwinfo@adsnet.com Yes says he buys...
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| Next Week
We are kicking da Coach's Ass at Noon.
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